The Queen of the Orkney Islands

Oh! the Queen of the Orkney Islands,

She's travelling over the sea:

She's bringing a beautiful cuttlefish,

To play with my baby and me.

Oh! his head is three miles long, my dear,

His tail is three miles short.

And when he goes out he wriggles his snout,

In a way that no cuttlefish ought.

Oh! the Queen of the Orkney Islands,

She rides on a sea-green whale.

He takes her a mile, with an elegant smile,

At every flip of his tail.

He can snuffle and snore like a Highlandman,

And swear like a Portugee;

He can amble and prance like a peer of France,

And lie like a heathen Chinee.

Oh! the Queen of the Orkney Islands,

She dresses in wonderful taste.

The sea-serpent coils, all painted in oils,

Around her bee-yu-tiful waist.

Oh! her gown is made of the green sea-kale;

And though she knows nothing of feet,

She can manage her train, with an air of disdain,

In a way that is perfectly sweet.

Oh! the Queen of the Orkney Islands,

She's travelling over the main.

So we'll hire a hack, and we'll take her straight back

To her beautiful Islands again.