Lord Lundy

Lord Lundy from his earliest years

Was far too freely moved to Tears.

For instance if his Mother said,

"Lundy! It's time to go to Bed!"

He bellowed like a Little Turk.

Or if his father Lord Dunquerque

Said "Hi!" in a Commanding Tone,

"Hi, Lundy! Leave the Cat alone!"

Lord Lundy, letting go its tail,

Would raise so terrible a wail

As moved His Grandpapa the Duke

To utter the severe rebuke:

"When I, Sir! was a little Boy,

An Animal was not a Toy!"

His father's Elder Sister, who

Was married to a Parvenoo,

Confided to Her Husband, "Drat!

The Miserable, Peevish Brat!

Why don't they drown the Little Beast?"

Suggestions which, to say the least,

Are not what we expect to hear

From Daughters of an English Peer.

His Grandmamma, His Mother's Mother,

Who had some dignity or other,

The Garter, or no matter what,

I can't remember all the Lot!

Said "Oh! That I were Brisk and Spry

To give him that for which to cry!"

(An empty wish, alas! For she

Was Blind and nearly ninety-three).

The Dear Old Butler thought—but there!

I really neither know nor care

For what the Dear Old Butler thought!

In my opinion, Butlers ought

To know their place, and not to play

The Old Retainer night and day.

I'm getting tired and so are you,

Let's cut the poem into two!